7 Tips and Tricks to conquer Fear and Anxiety & How to manage Fear of Failure.

7 Tips to help anxiety.

You’re not your thoughts, and you’re not your fears. Yet sometimes you can be so afraid of something – no matter how illogical or unreasonable – that it paralyzes you. And the more you feed your fear, the greater its impact on your life. 

According to Monica Berg, author of the book ‘Fear is not an option’, there is room for new opportunities and growth as soon as you overcome your fears.

Tips to help anxiety

1. Name your fear 

There is little as frightening as the unknown. You can’t avoid or control what you don’t know. The first step is to identify and name your fear. For example: I want to get rid of my fear of failure. Or: I want to get rid of my fear of being abandoned. 

Tips to help anxiety

2. Burn your fear 

Do you have a frightened thought? Then summon it very deliberately and throw the fear into a fire. You may of course light the fireplace for this ritual, but an imaginary fire works just as well. Imagine that the fire swallows up the fear, and that the fear is erased from your consciousness. 

3. Reduce your fear 

Ask yourself why the fear exists in you, and then let it go while you say to yourself that fear is an opportunity that can help you become the best version of yourself. That way you make the fear smaller and less powerful. 

4. Take small steps 

Unreasonable fears keep you from doing what you love most and making your dreams come true. But if you take small steps to confront your fears, it can eventually bring about big changes. You don’t always have to jump into the deep end. What small steps can you take to reduce your fear? Start with that, start really small. You will notice that your fear will start to decrease by itself. 

5. Think of an anti-anxiety affirmation 

If you keep repeating your fear in your mind, it becomes stronger and stronger. But fortunately for us, it works the other way around as well. So think of a positive affirmation to face the fear. Don’t keep telling yourself: “I have to give a presentation, but everyone can see how nervous I am, and I’ll probably forget what I want to say.”  But instead of that think: “I am well prepared and I have an important message that everyone should hear.” 

6. Use your body language 

When you stand upright, with your back straight, your shoulders relaxed and your chest slightly forward, you radiate openness and confidence. More importantly, such a power pose can produce more testosterone, which helps you feel more powerful. Also nice: you can do the pose anywhere and anytime if you need some extra courage and self-confidence. 

7. Don’t make fear an option 

Make it a mantra for yourself: fear is not an option. Practice with it daily, even when you don’t experience fear. 

Tips to help Anxiety: How to manage fear of failure? 

There are a number of beliefs that are useful if you want to learn to cope better with your perfectionism and fear of failure.  

First, I’m gonning to talk about mindset. Then I’ll talk about making mistakes in general and finally I’ll talk about the ultimate conviction: “you’re good enough the way you are”. These are all beliefs that help you to be more at ease with mistakes you may make. 

1. Mindset 

Mindset is a term coined by American psychologist Carol Dweck. She refers to mindset as a collection of beliefs you might have. In her case, those beliefs are specifically about performance. 

Dweck distinguishes between a growth mindset and a fixed mindset. Below you can see which beliefs belong to which mindset: 

If you are convinced that all your skills are innate, every performance you deliver is a test. A test to prove that you can do it. 

If, on the other hand, you believe that you can learn anything, every achievement is an exercise. You can learn a lot from exercises you do wrong. 

It needs no explanation that failure is much less important for people with a growth mindset than for people with a fixed mindset. For people with a fixed mindset, failure means they can’t do it, for people with a growth mindset, it means they can’t do it yet. That is quite the difference. 

If you want to suffer less from fear of failure, then pursuing a growth mindset is a good exercise. 

2. Making mistakes in general 

We can all agree that making mistakes isn’t pleasant. If you can choose between making a mistake and not making a mistake, every sensible person chooses not to make mistakes. 

People with fear of failure tenaciously hold on to this premise. Making mistakes is bad and that’s all. But there is still more to be said about making mistakes: 

Where people work, mistakes are made. Up to the highest level. So it is impossible to have your work done by someone who doesn’t make mistakes. 

When you’re learning, making mistakes is part of it. You can’t learn to ride a bike without occasionally falling off your bike.  So if you never make mistakes, you can’t learn. 

Not making mistakes is part of your quality. Some companies choose to deliver less quality so that they are cheaper. More mistakes are a part of that. Those mistakes are then included in the business model. So not all mistakes are “mistakes” per se. 

3. You’re good enough the way you are 

The most important “new” thought you can learn is the belief that you are good enough as you are. In the end, all doubts about performance arise from the fear that you are not good enough. That you are insufficiently performing to be taken seriously or feel good about yourself. 

This belief is quite difficult to change, because our society seems to be filled with it. We are constantly reminded that some people have the X-factor and others do not. And we get to see people with perfect lives in magazines and on TV all the time. And compared to them, our lives may be a bit grey. 

Nevertheless, it is possible to see that people who perform better than you are not immediately worth more than you. We are not so accustomed to talking about the value of a human being, but that is what this is about. What determines the value of a human being? In the end we have to conclude that the value of a human being is absolute and does not decrease the more you earn or the smarter you are.